Hamburger Helper

So I was making hamburger helper taco whatever (I like to cook when I’m high), and when I was reading the directions on the box for making the cheese topping, I thought of something. You see, the directions say to mix the powder and 1/3 cup milk and stir it for 30 seconds. I thought that was interesting - why 30 seconds? Stir it too little and it doesn’t blend, dur. But will something happen if I stir it longer? Will the balance or consistency get thrown off? Will the world explode? Will I lose my buzz? I got curious.

Well, at 30 seconds, the mixture is lumpy. What I realized is that if you keep stirring it… nothing happens. It stays lumpy and doesn’t really change at all. So I guess that’s why they say 30 seconds. Otherwise people would just keep stirring it hoping it would get smooth, ‘cause it looks kinda weird.

I wonder if they had that written on the box at one point. Like instead of saying “stir 30 seconds,” it said “mixture will be lumpy,” or “enjoy your lumpy cheese.” Then they realized that might turn people off from their product, so to prevent people from getting frustrated and calling in angrily to say “My cheese is lumpy!” they decided to do some stir tests and determine about how long it took to get the powder to blend with the milk to its maximum potential, and came up with “stir 30 seconds.”

Or maybe they just did that to begin with. I don’t know, I’m high.